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DescriptionWhat happens when an educated professional wants to become a stay-at-home mom but not end her career forever? Millions of educated, professional women are quitting their jobs to stay home and raise their children. ExcerptsChapter One...
Quitting
When Is the Best Time to Cut the Cord? Maybe you just got the news that you're expecting or maybe you're a veteran mom with middle school-aged kids at home, it doesn't matter where you are on the mom continuum, at some point you'll be confronted with the burning question: Should you stay home with your children? Should you leave a job you love to stay home with your children who you love? That question avalanches into a blizzard of other worries. If you quit to assume this new role at home, will your career be over? Will you ever work again and if you do will it be in a job you find fulfilling or will it be in a position for which you'll memorize three words: "paper or plastic?" You stay up late with your friends and debate whether or not you can have it all--career and family. And, like a lot of us, you find that you can't. At least not all at once. SUBVERTING THE GUILT PARADIGM There are basically two reasons mothers decide to quit their jobs--guilt and love. We visit the day-care facilities we'll be leaving our newborns in. We see row upon row of cribs decorated with a few items from home--sort of the way inmates adorn their prison cells. We see the babies sleeping or staring at the ceiling but not doing much else until their number comes up for a diaper change or bottle. We see this and we think--not our babies. We're not going to do that to our babies. So we quit to diaper and feed them ourselves. Or we tough it out for a few years and one day we catch ourselves staring at our computer screens thinking, What am I doing here at www.anythingtolookbusy.com while my children see me just a couple of hours each evening and on weekends? This isn't worth it. So we quit. WAIT! WHY DO YOU REALLY WANT TO STAY HOME? This may seem obvious. You want to quit because you want to nurture your baby. Just like we said, right? You want to watch your child learn to crawl and walk. But, before you even think about quitting, let's make sure that's what's going on. Our friend, Darcy, is a good example of why not to quit your job. Darcy didn't just hate her job, she loathed being a physical therapist. She moved from office to office until she ran out of places to go and she realized it wasn't the people, it was the work; she abhorred the tedious insurance forms. Because she hated her job, her husband and two children were miserable. Nobody wanted to be within one hundred feet of Mommy when she returned from work each day for fear of finding out that once again she had a bad day at the office. At lunch one day, we noticed Darcy wasn't her normal tense self. She told us that she and her husband were considering her quitting her job to stay home with their kids. "We know it will be tough," Darcy explained between bites of Caesar salad, "but we think it's the right thing to do." Two months later, Darcy made the big move. Rather than leave quietly, she made sure that all the other therapists knew that she hated the place and was glad to be going. Her departing remark was something along the lines of, "Good luck, suckers." A week after her departure, we lunched while her kids were in school. She was happy and full of plans. "We definitely need to do a spa day," she told us excitedly. "And maybe we could all get together for drinks one night a week. I'm also thinking a girls' trip to Hawaii might be nice." We looked across the table at each other, and it was clear we were both thinking the same thing. Alarm bells were sounding over Darcy's head. She thinks she's on vacation! A month later she shared her itinerary with us. The children... About the AuthorMonica Samuels is a trained environmental and immigration attorney. Although she was given the opportunity to join the Bush administration, Monica elected to stay in Austin and raise her two sons. In 2002, President Bush appointed her to the Board of Directors of the Mickey Leland National Urban Air Toxics Research Center, which she serves on today. J.C. Conklin is an award-winning writer and journalist whose work has appeared in the Wall Street Journal and The Dallas Morning News. Digital Rights Information
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